#I do hope she sings try
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a-shakespearean-in-paris · 2 years ago
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Bought myself a ticket to see P!nk because her song “try” is the cullydia anthem
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cent-scratchnsniff · 3 months ago
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reread tiphs dialog recently. i love them lots
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#lobcorp spoilers#i cant help it. the boxes....#i never know what to tag as spoilers and what not to. so just to be safe#tiphereth#tiphereth lobcorp#chesed#chesed lobcorp#do i do all of them..? some of them are smaller. ahh itll be okay i hope..#netzach#netzach lobcorp#ill stop there. there is gebura yesod and malkuth but its just one drawing for both#just general thoughts of mimicking others and trying to potray what maturity is. the dialog from story 1 when you meet them i think abt tip#talking abt being stern stoic and strict. then netz talking abt yesod and the two behaving similar like that#just thought some others would be cute. trying to get used to how id draw her. ah the gebura tiph one was a loose idea in gebs story to#where the two talk and tiph advises against asking to much and to hold onto that hate iirc. been a bit. then the idea of her able to replac#parts. then the degradation of the soul after being destroyed. maybe tiph might check up on her or peek in to see how shes doing considerin#the idea to hold onto hate was advice She gave. iirc. anyways the concept of having black coffee to look cool and grown#they put the shortest next to the tallets in the same layer. had another idea to have the two tiphs stack atop one another to be as tall as#chesed and gebs but i got too tired. its a cute idea though might do it later. another thing i wanted to do later on was pertaining to#singing a song of homeland and lisa stating she wanted to dance. that and the backdrop from c comand being a giant stage. preformance arts#malkuth is there because the three all do a command team. lots is stuff and responsibility. feel like tiph would have beef w her . also an#iirc moment i recall something abiut the two teams havinf a rivalry or competition of sorts? kind of funny what beef u got w some kids bro#more likely pertaining to the agents inside of the teams itself to be honest. i think id be cute is malkuth would give some help tips thoug
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sejarcus-archive · 16 hours ago
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Actually a Young Royals inspired Sejarcus au would go so hardddd. Prince Sejanus, who has an incredibly dysfunctional relationship with his family and no intention of one day becoming king, gets sent to a private boarding school for the elite, in a last attempt from his father to put him in line, and there he falls for the boy no one likes much, cause he’s working-class and only at the school thanks to a scholarship
#this is not one on one how things are in the show#obviously loosely inspired for many reasons#including that sejanus and wilhelm are so different and obviously it would have to be adapted to fit the characters in general#minor spoilers for the show ahead#marcus would totally be a combination of both simon and sara#he could be in the choir and sejanus falls for him hearing him sing like wille with simon#or on the school band or something#but he also works on the school grounds at the horse stables and stuff like that just like sara#(reaper and lamina like ayub and rosh? uhuh#for context: they’re the best friends of simon aka the working-class child of immigrant mother boy that prince wilhelm falls for#and they’re also working-class and go to a different school#while sara is simon’s sister and she goes to hillerska - the boarding school where the show is set - with simon)#sejanus joining the choir only in an attempt to get closer to marcus like wille with simon#and taking horse riding lessons for the same reason#sprinkle in some good old fashioned one-sided rivalry cause marcus thinks sejanus is like all the other rich assholes at the school#(which would obviously be the mentors)#probably worse since he’s the prince#so he’s very distrusting and cold and stand-offish with sejanus at first#and coriolanus would be like august secretly broke and trying to steal sejanus’s position as prince#how would he be cousins with sejanus like august and wilhelm are?#could have been adopted after his parents' death or his mother remarried after his father’s death#this surprisingly would work more than i thought it could#honestly i just really love prince sejanus as a concept hehe#i hope at least one person reading this has seen yr and knows what i’m talking about lol#it’s a good show i do recommend it#sejarcus
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folklouire · 1 year ago
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head full of love and appreciation for folklore and evermore. head full
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zivazivc · 10 months ago
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Ziva, how well do you think Toastymarshmellow (who sang in this song as Amanda) would fit Ravin as her voice?
I actually imagine Ravin having an autotune natural voice like Guy Diamond. 😅 But her autotune doesn't sound like his that's... I dunno what to call it — stereotypical autotune? skjdjdj — and is more like just high pitched vocals (especially when Ravin gets loud or excited). I don't know the proper words to describe it so I looked up a few happy hardcore songs for help.. I imagine her sounding a lot like the singer (and the autotune/distortion) in this song:
youtube
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lunar-years · 9 months ago
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I love how open Taylor is about her emotions and her intrinsic need to feel and then share them. Even when it doesn’t work out for her, she still continues to wear her heart on her sleeve!! Again and again no matter how many times it takes!! Like when you think about her opening the tour with Invisible String on the setlist, the last minute drop of All of The Girls, followed by the breakup and immediate removal of Invisible String and then the “you know who are you, I love you” and lights camera bitch smiling of it all to reformatting the whole setlist and format of the show to incorporate the breakup anthems of a relationship she still was in when the tour began to throwing in “So High School” as the only song from the Anthology to make the setlist just because she’s THAT down bad kicking her feet and giggling for her new man!! A lesser woman would have lost hope, indeed
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majimassqueaktoy · 2 years ago
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I still want to write a fic about Makoto set after 0 where she goes off the rails because she is a traumatized 21 year old with not a single living connection in the world and now she has 10 billion yen to her name which just spells trouble to me
#when I say she has no living connection I mean bc Majima isn't ever known by her#like I hope she gets comfort at the idea he is out there even if she can't find him#but essentially her brother and Lee and her mum and her grandfather are all dead#She's literally got no one#And I'm supposed to believe she just copes fine with that?#I always had this Makoto Everywhere Idea#where she doesn't leave Kamurocho and Majima keeps seeing her around#and she's driving him insane because shes actively looking for him and he's trying to escape her#he's threatened every yakuza in the city never to say a word unless they want him to go mad dog like he did on the dojima family#even Sera agrees#so Makoto's left smacking random dudes and wandering around doing her investigation#She hassles Nishiki and Kiryu about it- but they're all Oh Um we didn't know the guy#It's just Majima going to get ciggies in the poppo and oh fuck heres Makoto eating a fuckin pork bun#quickly turn around and run away#Oh he feels a bit snackish- why not go grab some takoyaki Oh fuck me it's Makoto Makimura at the takoyaki cart /again/#He wants to go have some fun- have a drink and a little karaoke#in an Okama bar- Jesus fucking christ Makoto's here and she'd singing HIS song and she's too drunk so now he's worried#But it's none of his buisness... Hmm maybe he can pay one of the nice young guys in there to keep an eye... No thats suspect#You get my vibe?#that's a different story to the one in the body of the post though.#Or Is It 🤨#Makoto looking for him but being destructive and its driving Majima insane#anyway :)
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sysig · 2 years ago
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Xenofashionista (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#YIK#Molly#First time drawing Molly!! Who belongs to trollybazoo btw :3#It's like fanart telephone haha I'm going off of Zarla's art of her so pls forgive any inaccuracies of a quick glance#She's super cute ♥ I have expressed my love of their relationship before and I will again! Lol#But first I gotta sing my love to YIK once again hhhgggg why is she so goshdang pretty#I think what's especially funny is that I didn't sit down to draw her - it might be a bit obvious in her eye and tendril expressions#I initially planned to draw DAX but was like ''Wait hold on this doesn't quite fit him but y'know who it would?? I can fix this I can fi-''#Lol#It was fairly early on so I hope I captured her well enough despite the base hehehe#Gosh she's cute heck#I've been really grasped by the idea of ''Aliens wearing clothing designed by humans meant to evoke aliens'' lol#That was my intention anyway I think it just turned into YIK pinups after a point lol - not that I'm complaining!#Yes that'd fit a daki what of it don't look at me lol#I do really love her her arms and head tendrils turned out there hehe all curled around lightly twisted and hold ♥#Pretty pretty pretty#And then Molly! Yay! ♪#Simultaneously trying to learn her and give the scene to her lol ♪ A decent first attempt I think >:3c#And then a little smooch ♥ Hehe ♪#It wasn't my intention but YIK looks like she's wagging her tail and just jfdlsahdfd the cuteness#I'm quite happy with how relaxed she looks there as well haha ♪ Fluster up her human <3#They <3 <3 <3
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spiritedfox · 1 year ago
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tag dump auuugh auuug auaughhh
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salsflore · 2 years ago
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ummmm
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#oh mika there is beauty in life~ look at your future! everything will be worth it in the end~#my favorite image on this device btw ^#cw negative#cw vent#you know where this is going. apologies my mind is a mess and i really just need to get it out because i find its better than-#-writing a semi formal email to that One (1) emotional support organization and i’m afraid to make a call so#but i just genuinely believe things would be better off if i weren’t alive. a bit of a silly thing to jump to i know but#my tuition fees aren't cheap and i'm not even that great of a student or a daughter or a sister and i-#-have no talents or remarkable feats. i’m not impressive in any way. and i hate hearing shit about how ^_^ its okay! we all have something-#-special about ourselves! for example maybe you have really good hand writing and thats good enough ~ but that doesn't work for me because-#-i have nothing. my handwriting isn't good my singing isn't good i'm not artistically gifted i don't have some random affinity for puzzles-#-i'm not charming or somehow really good at calculation or super creative or a really comforting friend i really have nothing at all#i don’t want to die. i have no plans on doing that sort of thing anytime soon— don’t misunderstand me#i just wholeheartedly believe i don’t deserve to be here anymore not because i’m not loved. i just can’t stand myself and my teenage years-#-feel so long and i'm so fragile how much longer do i have to tolerate. i'm contributing nothing. why should my family have to feed and-#-clothe a burden like me who provides nothing. why should my friends care for someone like me. i’m not really that funny or sweet or great-#-with advice giving or pretty or helpful in any way. why is it that life is genuinely easier for others. what did i do? what can i do?#how much longer must i tolerate this? would you believe me if i said i really did try to change my mindset this time?#i have no one in real life to talk to. therapists are pricey and i don’t think mine was helping me in any way anyways. she was nice though#so every night i sleep hoping i wake up somewhere else. somewhere where i'm happier and i can live all my silly fantasies where i'm a fun-#-and lovely person who has everything she wants and nothing goes wrong ever!!#how much longer must i hang onto the little things. i’m in such an exruciating amount of pain that i want to kill myself without dying? lol#everyone repeats the same stuff. get bit#i can't rely on the joy of having coffee every morning or persevere for the sake of seeing cute cats on insta. nothing will ease the burden
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icedteaandoldlace · 3 months ago
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Alright, I've got it figured out now. I've been torn on whether Cisco and Kamilla's first dance song for their wedding should be something slow and romantic or fast and peppy, and now I've got it, and this way it can be kind of both.
So it starts out with Winn on the piano, playing a soft, slow, wedding-ified version of Only One. (Can Winn actually play piano outside of Barry and Kara's musical dream? Don't know, don't care, he can now.) Cisco leads Kamilla onto the dance floor, doing that thing where they're holding hands and keeping a wide distance apart, and she walks in a big circle until she's standing right in front of him. Bart sings the first verse solo (I couldn't decide before if adult Bart and Nora should be at the wedding, but, well, looks like they are now). Cisco and Kamilla begin with a few basic ballroom dance steps. They both look a little tentative, but they get through it gracefully and without any missteps. It's a perfectly romantic moment, and it looks like it's gonna be a pretty standard first dance for them.
At the end of the first verse, Winn takes over for the last couple of lines (Kendall's part of the song). The nervous look on Cisco's face suddenly disappears. Holding Kamilla's gaze, he very slightly tilts his head forward in half a nod. Kamilla subtly nods back. They both grin, and as the chorus starts, several things happen at once: more instruments start playing, the tempo picks up as the bass drops, Barry takes the lead on vocals, and Cisco dramatically spins Kamilla out and they go full Fred and Ginger, to the surprise of several of their guests.
Iris's jaw is on the floor. Chester is losing his mind. Caitlin is beaming. She knew Cisco could dance because he's mentioned music being a big part of all Ramon family gatherings before, but she's never seen him do it when he wasn't goofing off. Barry of course knew what the plan was, but he's still thrilled to see it actually happening and to be a part of it. He takes his eyes off the happy twirling couple only long enough to direct the first half of the second verse to Iris, who smiles right back at him, and then he gets his head back in the game.
Why the heck it never occurred to me before that Barry should be singing at Cisco's wedding, idk, but he leads for the rest of the song, with Bart and Winn's voices harmonizing beautifully with his (and jumping into small solos where it makes sense for them to), and Cisco and Kamilla absolutely killing it on the dance floor, their eyes locked on each other the whole time.
#The Flash#Kamisco#Kamilla Hwang#Cisco Ramon#other songs I had considered before coming up with this scenario:#Beautiful Life by Rick Astley#Dancing on the Ceiling by Lionel Richie#I Like It by Enrique Iglesias (which is SO not appropriate for a wedding but would be SO much fun to dance to)#of course those can still play at another point during the reception#I Like It can be Shutterflashvibe tearing it up after a couple champagnes#at some point Barry gets carried away and Kamilla's laughing so hard she ends up stepping back and just watching the show#Iris pretends to be embarrassed while Caitlin sneakily whips out her phone and starts recording#Wally and Cousin Hector are involved but not as front and center as Barry and Cisco#who are dancing AND singing and both do the rapid Spanish part flawlessly because this isn't their first time jamming to this song#and Cisco has coached Barry on how the Spanish lyrics go#and of course in the series finale in my mind where the show ends at Kamisco's wedding#Iris discreetly slips out for a few minutes to take a pregnancy test#and returns just as Beautiful Life is winding down#Barry who has just started looking for her sees her across the room#they walk toward each other#and when it gets to the last a cappella lines of the song#there's a quick pan across of everyone in Team Flash#Joe and Cecile dancing/Chester + Ralph + Allegra and optional others hanging out by the dessert table/#Caitlin laughing with one of the Wellses#Cisco and Kamilla embracing and kissing#and then Barry and Iris standing face to face#Barry with an inquisitive and hopeful look on his face and Iris beaming and trying to be subtle#because she's about to give him the good news but doesn't want to steal her friends' thunder#realization lights up Barry's face before she even has the chance to say anything and then cut to black and roll credits
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wcnderlnds · 1 month ago
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battlefield | choi su-bong (thanos)
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・❥・ summary: running into your ex boyfriend during the squid games was the last thing you expected ・❥・word count: 719 ・❥・warnings: uh... usual squid game stuff. ・❥・ authors note: this is a short one just to test the waters but im obsessed with this man after watching squid game 2 <333
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There he was. The last person you’d ever expected to see in this place. Player 230. Choi Su-Bong or, as the world knew him as, Thanos. The bright purple hair had been easy to spot. The last few months had been spent avoiding him so why did fate want to throw you together in this place? Wherever the hell this place was. You still weren’t even sure but as you walked up the stairs to the first game, you didn’t really care. All you wanted to do was lay low and make sure that Thanos didn’t see you. A conversation with your ex boyfriend was the last thing you wanted.
Things had ended badly between the two of you when he’d lost all his money thanks to the crypto scam. It had changed him, turned him into someone you didn’t recognise anymore so when the arguments started and his behaviour became erratic, you knew you had to get out of there. So, you did. You left and had never looked back. All you wanted was enough money to get out of the city and far, far away. There was nothing here for you anymore. If you could win the games then you could finally start fresh somewhere.
Walking through the doors onto a floor of sand and brightly coloured walls, you heard the voice of Thanos talking to his friend. Instantly, you looked down at the ground, hoping he didn’t see you. Unfortunately for you, he had stood next to you. His eyes scanned your face before recognition lit his eyes up.
“Senorita!” He said in a sing-song voice, wide grin on his face as he outstretched his arms. “What are you doing here? Come on, give me a hug.”
“None of your business and no thanks,” you rolled your eyes.
“I’m hurt,” he splayed his hand on his chest over his heart. As much as he was using his confident swagger to irritate you, deep inside he couldn’t be more glad to see you. “Not even going to give me a chance to talk, huh? That’s stone cold.”
As the rules of the game echoed through the speakers, he couldn’t take his eyes off you. His hand had raised to his friend to stop him from talking to him so he could get a proper look at you. When you had left, that had been the breaking point for him. Everything had gone downhill from there. For so long he’d been trying to seek you out, to apologise but he knew you’d been avoiding him. Your friends wouldn’t tell him where you were, your family had chewed him out the second he had showed up on their doorstep so, eventually, he’d given up. But, here you were.
As Player 456 shouted out about the game being a lie and that you were going to die, your head shot up. Surely he couldn’t be telling the truth, right? Red Light, Green Light was a children’s game. At most you were probably going to be out of the running for the cash if you were caught moving.
“He’s crazy,” Thanos said. It was his way of trying to comfort you. He had instantly noticed the slight panic in your eyes, the way you were rubbing your hands against your thighs. “Don’t listen to him.”
All you could do was nod but there was a gut feeling inside you telling you that maybe it wasn’t entirely all crazy talk. Something about this whole thing felt off. Your eyes caught some girl talking, her hands waving around then suddenly she was on the ground. Instantly, fear gripped you, your stomach dropping. The room around you started to spin – you were really going to die here.
“Hey, hey,” Thanos had reached out, his hand gripping yours as he stood in front of you, back to you. “Stay behind me. I won’t let anything happen to you. You hear me? Stay behind me.”
“But… what if…” The sheer panic in your voice made his heart clench.
“No. We’re both getting out of here alive, okay? Now, stay behind me.” His protective instinct had kicked in. Right now, he didn’t care if you hated him. All he cared about was making sure you survived this so maybe, just maybe, he could finally make things right.
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lemonlover1110 · 3 months ago
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Sylus
Summary: Sylus struggles to put your baby girl to sleep.
Warnings: Pure Fluff
Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi - Bluesky
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You’ve never thought you’d find Sylus in this situation. You’ve pictured your husband doing a lot of things– But this? Never in a million years. 
You want to step into the room, but you can’t allow yourself to interrupt. The scene fills your stomach with butterflies, and reminds you why you fell for him all over again. The man really has a softer side that many don’t get to witness. You see it often; but no one will see it as much as her.
“Twinkle, twinkle– I guess you don’t like it.” Sylus’ singing is cut off by his baby’s cries. He’s rocking her back and forth, hoping to get his baby girl to fall asleep. He promised you that he’d take over so you could take the night off, but tonight his babygirl is as energetic as ever.
Though the singing stops, the crying doesn’t. He shushes her before telling her, “I promise I won’t sing again.”
The shrill cries stop, but his baby’s eyes are still wide open. She’s a difficult one to fall asleep, and he knows exactly who she got that from. Offering money won’t work with her yet, so he’s forced to play a waiting game. 
“I’m trying to spend time with your mom, love. C’mon, help me out.” She laughs at the tired look on her father’s face, and Sylus can’t help but smile. She’s laughing at his misery, but at least it’s a cute laugh.
“I’ll get payback one day.” Sylus says as he lifts her in the air before blowing a raspberry on her tummy. Another laugh comes from the little one. He kisses her chubby cheeks, pure joy overtaking him. 
“You’re lucky you’re cute, I’d be mad otherwise.” He tells her, earning a coo from the energetic girl. He chuckles.
“I can handle her.” You finally step into the room, cutting off the sweet moment between Sylus and your baby girl. You don’t want him to get frustrated with her, even when he looks overjoyed to just hold her.
“It’s fine.” Sylus assures you. He’s smiling down at her. “I can handle my little sweetheart.”
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23victoria · 8 months ago
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“can you watch my boyfriend for a sec?” ❁
f1 grid x fem!reader
summary: TikTok trend with the grid!!
authors note: saw the carlos one and knew i had to write about it!! his reaction made me laugh!! i also just saw mclaren do it to oscar!! i hope the other teams do it to their drivers as well!! also first time writing for seb, jenson, and daniel, i had the time so i said why not?!any feedback is appreciated and please like, comment, and reblog!! hope you enjoy!!
f1 masterlist
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Lewis
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to grab something from the car."
You head out, leaving Lewis alone in front of your phone's camera. He looks around, slightly bewildered.
"What? Y/N who’s on the phone? Uh, hey there. I guess I'm being watched. So... how's everyone doing? Good? Cool. Uh, any Mercedes fans here?" He starts talking about his day and how Roscoe is doing, trying to entertain the 'audience'. "Alright, she'll be back any minute now... right?"
Max
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to take out the trash."
Max raises an eyebrow as you walk away. He looks at the phone, unsure of what to say.
"Huh? Um, okay. This is weird. Hi, everyone….I guess…..Y/N what is this?! Who’s on the phone? So…what do we do now? Should I... talk about racing? Or... maybe I could just sit here…?" He awkwardly shuffles in his seat, checking his watch. "How long does it take to throw out the trash? Y/N come back! I don’t know what to say or do!"
Lando
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to get a drink from the kitchen."
Lando grins as you walk away, immediately knowing the TikTok trend. He leans in closer to the camera.
"Hey, TikTok! I was wondering when Y/N was going to do this trend on me! What have you guys been up to? Should I prank her back? Give me some ideas in the comments!" He starts to look around, trying to find something to do. "Should I play some games on my computer or maybe I'll hide and jump out when she gets back?"
Oscar
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to get my food."
Oscar blinks, looking at the phone and then at the door you just walked towards. He frowns slightly.
"Huh? What….okay? Uh, hi? I guess you guys are going to watch me eat my breakfast…Not sure what I'm supposed to do here. Should I be saying something interesting?" He scratches his head, and moves his food around, clearly uncomfortable. "So, did you guys have breakfast yet? I hope you did, breakfast is important….uhhh yea. Y/N!! Babe!! Come back!! I don’t know what to do!!"
Charles
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to take a call."
Charles watches you leave, then looks at the phone, confused but trying to be polite.
"Uh? Wait what? Hello, everyone. I guess your...on watch duty?" He laughs nervously. "This feels strange. Maybe I should sing a song? Or talk about Ferrari? Oh, I know, I'll play some music on my piano!" He moves towards the piano, but then hesitates. "Wait, how long is this call going to be? Y/N! Baby!!"
Carlos
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to make a smoothie."
Carlos looks at the camera, then at the direction you went, raising an eyebrow.
“What is this? Hello? Anyone there? Who were you talking to? Y/N?! Uhhhh hi… Wait, a smoothie? Bebe make me one too please! Okay, hi everyone. This is Carlos, just here... being watched?" He starts looking around, picking up random items on the table. "So, let me show you my favorite things on this table. This is a cool pen, and this is... a coaster. Fascinating, right?" He chuckles, shaking his head. "This is so weird. How long does making a smoothie take anyway?"
Sebastian
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to water the plants."
Sebastian gives you a puzzled look as you leave and then turns to the camera, smiling politely.
"What?! Y/N what is this? Hello? Hello? Anywhere there? I’m confused… Y/N!! Who were you talking too? Honey? … Um, hello everyone… I guess I'm under surveillance now." He chuckles. "So, while she's watering the plants, let's talk about... sustainability! Did you know you can make your own compost at home? It's really simple and great for your garden." He starts explaining the process, gesturing enthusiastically. "I hope she comes back soon because I might run out of eco-friendly tips! Oh wait!! I know! Let me show you my bees!!"
Jenson
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to grab the mail."
Jenson watches you leave with a bemused smile, then looks at the phone.
"Ummm what?! Babe? Y/N? Hello? Uhhh..hey there. So, I guess I need to be watched for a minute. You guys are in babysitting duty? Let’s see... what can I do to entertain you?" He glances around and spots his dogs. "Hey, meet my dogs! Come here babies!." He tries to get their attention but Bentley and Rouge ignore him, while Storm walks up to him, just to sit and stare at him. "Well, that didn’t go as planned. I guess they’re tired from playing this morning. Oh well, maybe next time! Isn’t that right Storm." he says putting down the camera.
Daniel
You: "Hey guys, can you watch my boyfriend for a sec? I need to fix something in the bathroom."
Daniel immediately grins and laughs as you walk away, sensing a prank.
“Huh? Babe? What? Oh wait! It’s that TikTok trend!! Alright, what’s up TikTok, what's going on? He starts making funny faces at the camera and then leans in closer. "I have no idea what to talk about. This is so stupid and awkward.” He says bursting out laughing. He keeps glancing towards the bathroom, barely containing his laughter. "Babe come back!!"
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© 23victoria 2024 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate, or claim my work as your own.
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heestoleurgirl · 20 days ago
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sim jaeyun 𝜗𝜚⋆₊˚
₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎ in which riki broke up with you, leaving you devastated and depressed. that is, until you get drunk on a night out, and somehow find yourself in his best friend's bed.
genre: angst, smut (pwp) pairing: ex's best friend!jake x fem!reader warnings: smut, MDNI!! wc: 5k
A/N: why am i writing jake smut, im not even jake biased
masterlist 𖤐.ᐟ
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21 days. 21 days since your boyfriend, riki, broke up with you. everyone said it would get easier to deal with over time, and you knew they were right, but you still felt like shit every hour of every single day.
anywhere you looked, you'd just get reminded of him and have flashes of unwanted memories in your mind. it felt like absolute torture. yes, this had been your first serious relationship and you loved him so much, of course you were upset (to say the least).
the worst part was that you still saw him every now and then on campus, which only made your heart ache more. especially when he happened to be around his girl friends. you knew it was just irrational jealousy but that didn't stop you from getting nauseous at the sight.
જ⁀➴ more under the cut!
one thing was for certain: you couldn't keep going like this, you were extremely exhausted from feeling so miserable 24/7. crying all the time was getting old, and rotting in bed forever didn't seem like a good long term solution. so, you had a totally mature and genius idea that would definitely not make things worse in any way. there was a house party being hosted by someone you knew, it would be the perfect place to get drunk and forget about your ex. even if it's just for one night.
your friends had already been nagging you to go, knowing your current state and how you barely left your house unless it was absolutely necessary. they were worried for you and missed your radiant aura. minhee was convinced she'd find you a hot guy that would help you move on. yeah, you knew that wouldn't work as simple as that, it wasn't easy to simply forget someone you loved with your whole heart and dated for quite a while. but at least you could give it a try, right?
fast forward to friday, you sat on the carpet in front of the body length mirror in your room, attempting to do your makeup. truth be told, it's been a while since you made yourself look so glamorous, which made it all the more difficult to get ready. every fibre of your being was screaming at you to just stay home and cry yourself to sleep while watching rom coms. but you pushed through, forcing yourself to stay on track with your plans and also not let down your friends who were there for you.
the faint sound of a honk broke you out of your thoughts, causing you to grab your belongings and waddle down the stairs in a dress that was shorter than you were comfortable with. your friend karina had gotten it for you a while ago, and you felt bad for never wearing it since then.
"looking good y/nnie!" minhee smirked and jokingly whistled as you managed to navigate yourself in to the passenger seat of her car.
all you could do was roll your eyes and playfully nudge her shoulder. "shut up"
she wiggled her brows in response before shifting gears and taking off to pick the other girls up too. you'd be lying if you said you weren't nervous about tonight, and feeling some form of regret. you could only pray and hope that riki wouldn't be there, or you'd definitely drown yourself in the pool without a second thought.
following your excited and chatty friends up the stairs felt strangely like walking towards your impending doom. you stuck close to minhee, who unsurprisingly immediately made her way to the drinks. not like you minded, because there was no way you were surviving this night without any alcohol.
the unknown mix of drinks burned your throat as you swallowed it, not really bothering to be sensible. before you knew it, you were on the dance floor with your friends, laughing and singing along to the songs blasting from the speakers. even if it was due to the alcohol, finally having a smile on your face was really refreshing. karina seemed to notice, who flashed you a grin and tugged you closer as the two of you were dancing like there was no tomorrow.
as the night went on, you gradually lost yourself to the alcohol that was now buzzing in your veins. you didn't feel like yourself at all, but in the best way possible. anyone would be able to tell that you were completely out of it by now.
you had no idea where your friends had disappeared off to, and somehow you found yourself not caring. while you were busy pushing past people with no particular destination in mind, you accidentally bumped into someone.
"woopsies, silly me!" you giggled drunkenly, looking up to see who it was. your heart did a backflip when you managed to recognize the face staring back at you.
"no worries darling." you knew that aussie accent way too well. standing right in front of you was jake, riki's best friend. honestly you were just relieved that it wasn't riki himself.
"oh, hi jake." you stumbled a bit and grabbed onto his arm for support. he merely looked down at you in amusement, finding the blush on your cheek quite cute. his eyebrow shot up subtly, eyeing the revealing dress that was definitely out of chatacter for you. despite that, you looked undeniably gorgeous like always.
jake's hand moved to your waist casually, acting as a stabilizer so you wouldn't fall over. normally, you would've felt awkward in a situation like this, but now you weren't even phased.
"you look like you've had one too many drinks, hm?" he leaned closer to speak, so you'd hear him over the loud music. your hands instinctively tightened around his arm.
"i-i'm fine..." you mumbled stubbornly, even though it was obvious you were close to collapsing right there on the spot.
"are you here alone? where are your friends?" if you were sober, you definitely wouldn't have missed the slight concern laced with his voice.
"uhmm... i dunno!" you grinned sheepishly at him, still pressed against his arm. "i think they ditched me"
you had no idea when or how you lost them, so his guess was as good as yours. "i was just about to leave anyway. can't leave a pretty thing like you drunk and alone"
before you knew it, jake was dragging you out of the party along with him. you weren't exactly sure what was going on, but even in your state you knew that you trusted him. after all, he was your ex's best friend, you'd known him for a while.
jake guided you into his bedroom, sitting you down on his bed and looking down at you, as if contemplating something. now that you were actually here, in his apartment, he wasn't sure if this was the right decision. but what else could he do, leave you at the party when you were completely shitfaced? absolutely not.
he kneeled down in front of you and carefully took one of your legs in his hand, removing your heel with the upmost precision. the other one was discarded too, letting your feet feel relieved from being squished together all night.
you were quiet now, past your drunken giggling and just zoning out, having no clue where you were. he almost laughed at the sight. he'd never seen you so vulnerable and adorable.
"stay here, i'll bring you some water" he stood up and disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes. true to his words, he returned with the water in one hand, and a pill in the other.
you watched with glossy eyes as he sat down next to you and gently guided the glass to your lips. you obeyed, feeling refreshed by the cold liquid. he gave you the pill next, urging you to swallow it. "this will make your headache more bearable tomorrow"
a quiet hum left your lips as you followed his instructions, then set the glass aside on his nightstand. your movements were still uncoordinated and messy, making him chuckle.
"you tired, pretty?" jake examined your droopy eyes, you looked so cute he had to hold himself back from smothering you in affection.
the first time jake saw you, he had felt starstruck. if he could go back in time, he definitely wouldn't have fumbled you so bad. he was a coward, he waited too long and suddenly you were dating his best friend. despite all his attempts to get rid of his attraction towards you, nothing seemed to work in his favour. you were quite literally the only girl he couldn't have, and ironically enough also the only one he wanted. but of course, he was respectful of your relationship with riki and was good at hiding his feelings towards you, he'd never let his jealousy be the reason he fell out with his best friend.
so here you were, sitting in his bed, drunk off your ass and it wouldn't take a genius to figure out why you'd drink so much. he wasn't sure how riki would react if he knew the situation he was in right now. he chose to push that thought aside and focus on you.
when you didn't answer his question, he spoke again, "you can sleep in my clothes, yeah?"
you nodded and stood up, letting him help you make your way to the bathroom. As he was closing the door, he added one more thing. "if you need any help, just shout for me."
it was quite difficult to get your dress off, but you managed somehow. all your limbs felt weak and heavy, and you were still disoriented, though you were able to change without falling over or breaking anything. jake's shirt swallowed your small frame comfortably, and you smiled faintly at the smell of his cologne lingering on the fabric. your mind was a jumbled mess of feelings as you returned, seeing him scrolling his phone, also in a more comfortable set of clothes.
he looked up and smirked at you, his eyes shamelessly travelling down your body as he took in the sight of you. to him, you'd never looked hotter. the combination of your messy hair and his shirt stopping by your mid-thighs was enough to make his head spin. he had to remind himself that you were drunk, and no matter how badly he wanted you he couldn't take advantage of you in this state.
seeing him pat a spot on the bed, you didn't need much convincing to climb under the covers and rest your head on a pillow. once again, you were welcomed with his scent, causing you to feel strangely comforted.
jake stood up and gave you one last look, making sure you were laid on your side so you wouldn't accidentally hurt yourself by choking on your tongue.
"where are you going?" you asked tiredly, opening your eyes to see him by the door of his bedroom.
"i'm sleeping on the couch." he raised a brow, surprised to see you sit up in the bed after just getting comfortable. your next words made him wonder if he was hallucinating.
"come back, i don't want to be alone"
your quiet, pleading voice was simply impossible to resist. how could he say no, when you were looking at him with literal puppy eyes? he sighed, and following a moment of hesitation he climbed into bed next to you. it's not like he didn't want to sleep next to you, god he would give anything to experience this. but he wasn't sure how long he could control himself when you were in his bed, looking like an angel.
for a few minutes, the room was filled with heavy silence as the two of you simply stared at each other. you admired his face, the dim lighting only adding to the tension slowly filling the air. you'd never really noticed just how pretty he was before. his round, brown eyes seemed so welcoming.
"jake..." you almost whispered his name, with nothing specific in mind. you just wanted to end the silence between you, it felt too tense.
"hm?" his eyes never left yours, studying your face as if you were the most interesting thing in the world. the longer you looked at him, the more your heart seemed to race.
"i... i don't know"
"what's wrong?" jake studied your glossy eyes, wondering why you were suddenly acting so emotional. his heart clenched at the sight of you nearly crying. he longed to pull you close and kiss you until you were smiling again.
"i don't know, i just..." you struggled to find words to express how you felt, especially with the alcohol still lingering in your system. there was so much you wanted to say, but you knew better than to break down in his bed when he'd been kind enough to bring you home with him safely. "...i don't wanna be alone. i hate the silence, i hate feeling everything and nothing at the same time i-"
suddenly you felt his finger wiping a stray tear from your cheek, one you haven't even noticed falling. there it was, that familiar heavy feeling in your heart. the one you were so sick of feeling, all you wanted was for it to go away.
you didn't really think before scooting over and hugging jake's larger frame. your face was buried in his neck, a good way to hide your tears as well as your embarrassment. his warmth felt intoxicating and you clutched his shirt like you were afraid he'd disappear.
jake didn't hesitate to welcome your hug and return it, he was more than happy to be your shoulder to cry on. seeing you in such a state made him realize just how emotionally drained you'd been since the breakup happened, he silently cursed riki for not taking care of you properly.
you felt like this was the first time someone had properly hugged you in weeks, which didn't help the overflowing emotions you were already experiencing. you clinged to him as if he was your lifeline, your only hope. there was no way you could explain the way his entire presence and embrace was more comforting than anything you'd felt in a while.
maybe you were delusional, but being in his arms like this made you feel all the more attracted to him. letting your guard down was something you rarely ever did, even with your most trusted friends. yet here you were, silently crying in jake's bed and confessing how lonely you felt as of late. it felt so intimate to be vulnerable around him.
"it's okay, you're not alone. i'm here, yeah?" he murmured against your hair, rubbing your back gently in an attempt to calm you down. if he wasn't paying attention, he would've missed the subtle nod of your head.
"i'm sorry. please don't leave." you whispered, sliding your hands under his shirt to feel the bare skin of his back that was practically radiating heat.
your touch caught him off guard and he almost hissed at the contact, his arms tightened around your waist. "i'm not going anywhere darling, and you have nothing to be sorry for. you've been through a lot and you just need some love"
yeah, you did need love. you felt guilty, a part of you still yearned for it to be riki who gave you the love you wanted so badly. but he was gone now, no matter how much you cried over it the past won't change. the more rational part of your brain was constantly urging you to move on and accept the fact that riki doesn't love you anymore. you swore the mixed emotions were going to drive you insane, if they haven't already.
but right now, even if it wasn't what you wanted, jake was what you needed. if only you knew the true extent of how much he cared for you.
jake's hands paused against your back when he felt the soft press of your lips against his neck. it surprised him so much that he couldn't help but wonder if he was imagining things. but no, he felt it yet again. "fuck, angel... don't do that" he struggled to speak properly.
"why not?" you pulled away a bit to examine his face, searching for signs of any discomfort, or maybe disgust. you just wanted to shower him in affection to show him how grateful you felt to be here with him right now. to be able to sleep in his bed and cry in his arms to your heart's extent.
he wasn't sure how to explain the reason he didn't want you to kiss him right now, and you were completely oblivious to his internal struggle.
"you're still tipsy, and emotional..." jake brushed a strand of hair away from your cheek, "i'm not going to take advantage of your state." he was being so sweet to you, it was almost annoying. yes, you were still not entirely sober but you couldn't deny the overwhelming urge to be... close to him.
so instead of replying, you leaned closer and pecked his cheek, causing jake to groan aloud. how could he possibly restrain himself when the girl he was whipped for was acting like this? he cupped your jaw with one hand and pulled your face closer, placing his lips onto yours with one swift motion.
your eyes fluttered shut and you kissed back as if you had done this a million times before. it felt so natural, and you were becoming lightheaded from how perfectly your lips felt against each other. previously you'd been worried that kissing someone would feel wrong, and you thought you'd imagine you were kissing riki instead, but right now there wasn't a single thought about him in your mind. all you could focus on was how good it was.
jake felt like he was losing his mind more every second he continued to kiss you. he didn't care how needy he might be coming off, cause fuck he'd wanted to this for months. never in a million years did he anticipate it would actually happen, in this context no less.
the kiss grew more heated as you moved your hands from his back to feel up his defined abs, relishing how supple and warm his skin was. at the same time, jake had a hand cupping your cheek, while the other one slid down to your waist, dipping under the shirt you were wearing. the feeling of your bare skin under his fingertips was absolutely euphoric. safe to say, neither of you were thinking about how right or wrong this might be at the moment. all your thoughts were out the window and you were entirely immersed in his company.
he didn't hesitate for a second when he realized you were tugging at the hem of his shirt, silently demanding its removal. the t-shirt was tossed aside, landing somewhere on the floor of his bedroom. your eyes widened as you were met with the sight of his bare upper body, you had to hold yourself back from practically drooling at the view. jake noticed your lustful gaze and couldn't help but smirk to himself. he pulled you closer and kissed you briefly before whispering in your ear lowly, "your turn."
he didn't leave you time to respond, tugging your shirt over your head. the action made you blush a bit, but you lifted your arms to help him remove the item of clothing. faint goosebumps littered your skin due to the sudden loss of heat, mixed with the tension in the air.
your hands landed on his chest, you took a moment to look into his eyes before inching closer and placing your lips on his for the nth time. the passion was halted for a moment, leaving room for the kiss to be more timid and soft. it didn't last for long though, soon enough it turned needy once again.
jake sat up without warning and pulled you into his lap snugly by your waist. your legs landed on either side of his thighs as you made yourself comfortable and wrapped your arms around his neck. his half lidded eyes and lazy grin made your heart skip a beat. for a second you felt stunned, an overwhelming sense of need filled you. he didn't miss the way your gaze travelled down his bare body once again, it sent a strange kind of satisfaction through him.
his lips found their way down from your jaw to your neck, peppering it with soft kisses. a quiet groan left his throat as you thread your fingers through his dark brown hair. the playful kisses turned into gentle nips and bites, jake couldn't resist leaving a few pretty marks along your porcelain skin.
your hushed gasp was a contrast to the mostly quiet atmosphere as his hands had somehow ended up squeezing your backside. the action caused you to arch your back instinctively, making you grind against him.
"fuck." he whispered, gently guiding your hips in his lap. the slight friction was intoxicating.
"jake..." his name left your mouth in a quiet whisper as you leaned your forehead on his shoulder, letting your urges get the best of you.
"i know, baby" his hands slid lower to caress your inner thighs tenderly. he tried not to moan as his hips pushed upward involuntary, amplifying the friction between you, while his boxers were becoming increasingly tight as his arousal strained against the fabric.
your lips found his once more, you were getting more desperate by the second and your mind was consumed purely with need for him. the material of his sweatpants felt soft under your fingers as you tugged subtly.
jake's breath hitched and his resolve crumbled almost immediately. he was a gone man, there was no going back now. breaking the kiss and muttering a quiet curse, he shoved his sweats and boxers down his hips in one swift motion. the rest was kicked off carelessly, leaving him completely bare under you. his hard length stood heavy against his stomach, flushed and leaking.
the sight made you want to faint on the spot, you had been so caught up chasing your lust and now it all felt real. you were still hovering on your knees, having lifted your hips to let him remove his remaining clothes.
but jake didn't plan on waiting around while you admired his erection, in a quick motion he flipped you over, pushing you against the pillows as he hovered above you. the view he had right now was almost enough to make him cum on the spot: you laid beneath him, sprawled out with messy hair and slightly swollen lips. not to mention some red marks he's left on your neck earlier (they definitely weren't the last either).
"you're so gorgeous, it's unfair."
before you knew it, he was kissing your shoulder, distracting you from the way his hand slid under your lacy panties. the gasp that left your lips was enough to let him know that you were surprised to feel his finger trail along your folds. god you were so wet he groaned out loud, opting to suck on your neck to keep himself quiet.
your arms darted to wrap around his neck once more as you felt him slide a finger into you. a broken moan left your lips, you bucked your hips into his hand, wanting to feel more of him.
"fuck, pretty, you're soaked" he murmured, his voice somewhat strained as he held himself back from shoving himself in fully and fucking you until you passed out.
"jake-" you couldn't speak properly even if you tried, especially not when another finger was pushed into you with ease. it was completely out of your control how your walls clenched around his diligently working fingers. "please..."
he could tell you were growing impatient and he knew exactly what you were asking for. as much as he longed to tease you and make you squirm under him as much as possible, his own arousal was consuming him whole.
after a few more pumps of his fingers, he pulled them out, earning a quiet whimper from you. he couldn't hold back a smirk, there was nothing that turned him on more than seeing you all desperate and needy for him, like you'd die if he didn't fill you up immediately. jake was pretty sure he'd never been as hard as he was right now in his entire life.
your panties were practically ripped off, not that you minded because that was the least of your concerns at the moment. you were completely focused on how jake grabbed your thighs and nudged them apart to position himself at your entrance.
he rubbed his tip against your aching clit, coating himself in your wetness and teasing you at the same time. "is this what you need doll? want me to fill you up?" he asked, his voice was low and laced with desire even with the obvious rhetorical question. he nudged inside, not giving you the full length yet as he moved his hands all over your body.
"yes! please jake, i need you" you whined shamelessly in response, tugging him closer with your hands on his back. there was no room for embarrassment, especially when you knew how much he was getting off from your begging.
he grunted in satisfaction at your response, pushing inside slowly until his hips pressed against yours. your gummy walls were tight and inviting, sucking him in with no effort. if jake thought he was close to losing it completely earlier, he was not ready for this moment. his entire body was tingling, senses heightened yet his brain completely gone, unable to form coherent thoughts.
"so good for me, i knew you could take it" he soothed your faint whimpers with a kiss on your forehead.
your eyes were glossy from the immense pleasure you felt with him just being buried to the hilt. the stretch was perfect, he filled you up perfectly without causing any pain.
after a moment of panting and moans, jake started to rock his hips, thrusting into you slowly. he wasn't sure how long he'd last with you being so perfect for him in every way.
"holy fuck..." he closed his eyes for a moment, desperate to keep himself together in favour of your pleasure and comfort. your soft moans and gasps didn't help his case one bit.
you couldn't stay quiet even if you tried, he was bringing you so much euphoria you swore you would explode. your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist as he sped up his movements, pushing as deep as possible. "fuck, jake..."
"so vocal for me" he hummed against your ear, his breath tickling your skin and giving you goosebumps yet again, only heightening the growing pleasure. as he continued to thrust into you, his hand left your waist to grap one or your hands and hold it down against the mattress, fingers intertwining naturally.
a sudden pain shot through his body in result of your nails digging into the skin of his back, altering between scratching and holding on. but the feeling only turned him on more, urging him to pound into you even faster.
"you're doing so well angel, shit" jake knew he wouldn't last much longer, so he was very relieved to feel you squirm and clench around his dick.
"it's so much..." you muttered between moans, your senses were flooded and overwhelmed by now. you swore you could see stars every time you felt his tip push against your cervix, his movements were painfully precise. "i'm close, jake"
you calling his name out so sweetly was music to his ears. he kissed your cheek and spoke in a strained voice yet again, "me too, you gonna come for me princess? hm?"
it was a miracle that you even lasted this long, your adamant nods were only seconds prior to you clamping down on him hard. a mix of a moan and grunt was heard from jake as he let go of your hand to wrap his arms around your waist instead.
with a few more sloppy thrusts, his climax was just behind yours. his hair was tugged and you squeezed your legs tightly as his hips jerked. you were filled up by ropes of his thick seed, making your eyes roll back from the pleasure completely and moan his name like a prayer.
both your bodies were moulded against each other, only disrupted occasionally with your light squirms. jake stroked your hair gently, holding onto you like he was afraid you would disappear. after a few peaceful moments, he carefully pulled out and grabbed a clean tissue to help you clean up.
once you were both under the cover again, he didn't waste any time to pull you against his chest. "i'm here, i won't leave." he whispered sweet reassurances to you, caressing any part of you he could reach. you practically melted into his arms completely, his presence was beyond comforting for your exhausted self.
you muttered against his warm skin quietly, "thank you"
"for what?" he smiled sweetly, even though you couldn't see his face. here you were, thanking him when you had been the one to give him the best experience he could ever ask for.
"taking care of me."
"i would never neglect my baby."
his words were enough to paint a soft smile onto your tired face. it didn't take long for you to drift into a peaceful sleep, especially when you were cuddled up to him so snugly. jake's heart swelled at how cute you looked in his arms. he couldn't ask for more, all he'd wanted was to take care of you and he finally got the chance, he wasn't going to hesitate or be a coward with you ever again.
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a/n: so. i just wanted to try out writing smut but this is gonna be my first and last time because WTFF IS THIS LMAO
i'm sticking to smaus i can't write for the life of me
songs for this fic:
tags:@vivimura@s1rawb3rry@who-tf-soddhi@laurradoesloveu@p1hbrook@hoonielvv@nodoubtily@enhamonsterghoul@heebambilee@en-chantedtomeetyou@hsbae@jellyluv4eva@vivissection@beigerin@jwywife@elairah@heekilrvs@jayjw16enxp@lakoya@ijustreallylike2read@annovaz@strawberrynull@abbyeey@celestiai0@enhalxvr@llearlert@raizennloll@rizzmura@sabriochee@sol3chu@fluveriiez@kitty-won07@sucrosxi@kukkurookkoo@mimisxs@darquette@hhyvsstuff@lovelydeliciousfestival@luciathcv@bigwforjay@pshfan0812@lov4hoon@jaerisdiction@kireiinahana@abzyissupersleepy@madslove-enhypen@b3tt7boop@dodot04lover@ki2rins@sugarikiz ( ◡̀_◡́)ᕤ
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imsofreakingtired · 18 days ago
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what if you and Sevika had a lesbian situationship divorce and she goes on a shimmer bender crashout
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content warnings: blood, violence, self-destructive thoughts, uhmm chaotic angst
like she just doesn’t stop using it. she has a belt full of Shimmer cartridges and uses three at a time whether she’s fighting or just needs a kick, an escape.  
uses it even when she goes to the brothel and just picks any girl who looks remotely like you. she sees you in the sky, hears your voice echo through the streets, feels your hands on her skin when she’s in the gardens, thinks if she closes her eyes she can almost believe the girl she’s with is actually you. calls out your name huskily when she comes. hates herself for it but can’t stop the cycle. and she always fucks on Shimmer, rushing through her veins. making everything dizzy and hot.
she does it even more because she remembers how you always scolded her for using Shimmer, saying it would eventually destroy her. a part of her wants to destroy herself for leaving you. a part of her hopes you’ll save her before she does. 
one night she gets caught up in a street fight and takes on like ten muggers at once. they have knives and masks and want her Shimmer supply, she laughs with the freedom of a woman who has lost all hope. last thing she remembers is thinking, “oh, baby’s not gonna like this.”
you hear a bang on your door in the middle of the night and you jump out of your half-sleep, a knife in your hand. you’re so sure the enforcers finally found you and you know you’re not going down without a fight. you open the door, gripping the blade so tight your palm aches. but there are no enforcers. it’s just Ran, their eyes wide and desperate. they’re propping up a lifeless figure, knees nearly buckling under the weight. Sevika. 
your first thought: Oh Janna. I’ve lost her. 
the knife falls to the floor with a clatter. you open the door wide enough to let Ran in, more dragging Sevika than walking her. you cast a swift look up and down the street to make sure they had no unwanted company following them, then you shut the door firmly and run over to help Ran prop Sevika in a chair. 
“I was gonna take her to Singed,” Ran explains. “but do you know what she said? ‘fuck Singed. i’m not going to Singed.” 
Ran looks at you. “she told me to take her to you, or let her bleed out in the street.” 
you fall to your knees in front of Sevika, and you try to keep your hands from shaking as you inspect her. she’s in bad shape. her mech arm is broken and shimmer leaks out from its wires onto the floor. her shirt is torn and bloody. her face is darkened with bruises and blood, but even in this state you’re confident that whatever she did to the goons that attacked her was ten times worse. 
she stirs awake, half-conscious. grey eyes look up at you in a haze. you wish she hadn’t. you wish she just stayed unconscious. because now that she’s giving you those eyes you can’t even remember why you were angry, you can’t even remember the emotion itself. 
you want to cling to even the memory of being angry at her, just so you don’t fall apart looking at her like this. 
“help me move her to the bed,” you tell Ran, and together you prop Sevika up again and lay her down on your bed. you barely notice the Shimmer staining your clothes, all you can see is the shallow rise and fall of her chest. 
“i can take it from here,” you tell Ran. “thanks.” 
“just…keep her alive.” 
when Ran is gone, you set to work cleaning the wounds. the cuts aren’t as deep as you feared, only one - a gash across her right forearm -  needing stitches. Sevika stirs and groans just as you finish dressing the cuts. she mutters something. you lean in close and hear her whispering your name.
“i gotta tell her…” Sevika trails off. “i gotta tell her i’m sorry.” 
something fails in your heart when you hear this. you smooth her hair out of her eyes and kiss her forehead. 
“i’m right here, you idiot.” 
Sevika’s eyes open and rest on your face. and you’re thinking fuck, fuck. whatever she did or said to hurt you didn’t come close to the sharp pain of seeing her expression relax, her eyes soften with relief. you take her face in your hands, rubbing her cheek with your thumb. 
“i’m sorry, too.”
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